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Exposing myself in 2016

12/6/2015

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Last year I decided to be  "bold and go with vulnerability, rawness and exposure of inner guts" and post my Top 10 goals of 2015.  With 1 month to go, here is a reflection on the process so far and how it's been living with this lovely,  inspiring, mostly heavy, sometimes hellish, epic, slightly sufferous, amazing time delivering, annoying, fulfilling and hovering delight of an albatross necklace.

​LET'S.... listen in.

Last year was the first year I decided to do one of these lists.  It's been massively helpful in helping me accomplish things I want to learn; body and mind.   Everyday (almost) I wake up, make my bed and journal about the state of the union, between my past, present, future self & how to make things better.  It takes many, many little steps to improve.  Here's a years worth of painstaking thought mashed into 3 important points about what I learned setting goals,  trying to accomplish them, being victorious and failing.

1)   What to do
You'd think that a 30 something year old person would know how to set a goal.  You have a thing you want to accomplish, so you think it, or say it, or write it down and then you go and do it right?  It turns out that setting goals is really complicated and requires a lot of thought and research into what you're trying to do.   Let me give you an example.  What are most people's big goals they want to accomplish?  "I want to travel more and see the world"  "I want a better job"  "I want to learn how to speak French" .  All of these goals are attainable,  but they need to be well defined and you need to carve a realistic path with all the steps to get there.  You want to travel and see the world?  What place do you want to visit the most?  What's the best time of year to visit? What's the budget going to be to get there.  Do the research.  Save the money. Book the time off work and DO IT.  So maybe your goal should have been - "Visit my #1 choice destination this year".  That will get you started and before long, you'll visit the 2nd place, then the 3rd and eventually, bam,  you're a world traveller, seeing the world.
I made a big mistake like this in my 2015 list.  Goal #8 - Learn to speak Spanish.  Ok... Like 10 words?  Fluency?  Tourist survival Spanish?  Without a well defined goal,  I'm not really accomplishing much.  I'm not motivated and I'm clumsy in my steps to accomplishing anything.  On the other hand, Goal #5 - Lead Rock Climb a 12A graded climb, is very specific.  I didn't want to  "be a better rock climber",  I wanted to do something really specific that challenged me in a lot of ways - Skill, fear, knowledge etc etc.   Setting that goal made me become a better rock climber because I had something specific to work towards, that was well understood and demanded a specific skill level.

Think of something you want to do.  Lay out all the steps it's going to take to get you there.  Pick a difficult, but realistic goal that will get you well on your way.  It's a guiding light to get you to that vague ultimate goal that's been rolling around in your mind forever.


2) How to do
Once I make my decisions for my 10, the pressure IS ON.  You best be figuring out how the F$%& you're gonna do what you need to do!!  You're probably not the 1st person to do it, so there's information..and you can access this information to help you.  Do the research.  Don't be lazy.  Don't be dumb.
Every goal is different and there are many paths to success, but one common cell that flows through all the veins on the path to accomplishing anything,  is a mentor.  Behind every single one of my 2015 10's is someone(s) I looked up to and mined knowledge and advice from.  It doesn't have to be someone you know.  It just has to be someone that inspires you, that you relate to and that is providing all the information you need.  For Spanish I had a tutor, for climbing I had close friends (that happen to be ridiculously good climbers), for the online business, I had Tony Robbins and Elon Musk!  For Kilimanjaro, I had Dennis Stolen. (Dennis became a close friend over the year!).
A good mentor is a great starting point.  If you choose wisely,  be not lazy and be not dumb, the rest will come together.

3) Pressure to do
"They tried to bury us.  They didn't know we were seeds"

The difference of who I am today and who I was the second before I posted my 2015 10's is different.  Fear of failure is a serious hinderance on trying to accomplish anything.  It's easier not to try or for people to think you're not trying that hard, than it would be to face failing at something everyone knew you were trying to do.  I found that the pressure and exposure of posting what you're trying to do was hugely beneficial for me.  I came to realize that I was constantly failing all the time;  unless I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing and who I wanted to be at all times.  Since those are all blurred lines anyway, what is failure except a negative, shitty feeling that we've made up.  Consciously or subconsciously, you won't try your absolute hardest if you want to leave an excuse to why you didn't make it.  That sucks!  Don't do that!  Try really hard, get buried in failures and grow out of them like the powerful lil failing success seeds that you are.

Failure, Success, Responsible, Realistic, Reasonable, Right, Wrong & Should are all words that have almost lost meaning to me.  But that's a whole other topic!  

Do things that matter!

Matt

Check out my 2015 list here
Check out my 2016 list here
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