Top 10 in 2015
This is my personal, top 10 things to do, in this great year of our Lord, 2015.
Posting your aspirations on the internet is scary. Perhaps your aspirations are not very good. Perhaps you will fail. I’m going to be bold this year and go with vulnerability, rawness and exposure of inner guts. Here’s my 10 top for this year:
Guidelines I used for building my list:
* They have to be related to Bucket This – travel/adventure/escaping
* They have to be goals that are stepping blocks to something bigger and more legendary
* They have to be really, really hard and just barely possible
* In their sum, have to make for an incredible year of sufferous struggle, magical moments and fulfilling accomplishments.
* They have to make for some badass footage!
In no particular order..
Posting your aspirations on the internet is scary. Perhaps your aspirations are not very good. Perhaps you will fail. I’m going to be bold this year and go with vulnerability, rawness and exposure of inner guts. Here’s my 10 top for this year:
Guidelines I used for building my list:
* They have to be related to Bucket This – travel/adventure/escaping
* They have to be goals that are stepping blocks to something bigger and more legendary
* They have to be really, really hard and just barely possible
* In their sum, have to make for an incredible year of sufferous struggle, magical moments and fulfilling accomplishments.
* They have to make for some badass footage!
In no particular order..
1) Climb the highest peak on a continent
Kilimanjaro, Denali, Elbrus, Aconcagua, Carstensz Pyramid, Vinson & Everest. These are the 7 highest peaks on the 7 continents here on planet Earth. Climbing any one of these beasts is a huge commitment that demands large amounts of dedication, training, time and dolla bills. I’ve been dreaming/nightmare’ing about this for awhile.
It begins this year..
– “The mountains are calling and I must go”
John Muir (1838-‘1914) was one rad dude/environmentalist/explorer.
It begins this year..
– “The mountains are calling and I must go”
John Muir (1838-‘1914) was one rad dude/environmentalist/explorer.
RESULT - So wha happa?!
In July 2015, I summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa. This was the first peak I've ever done and it was such an amazing experience. Check out the video of me and my guide, Naga as we make our way up the Lemosho - Western Breach route in 5 days. The experience of this challenge gave me exposure to high altitude climbing and planning an expedition for a 7 summit. Check out the video episode and post here |
2) Jump off a helicopter and/or hot air balloon
Weeeeeee! Ahem. Apart from being a badass stunt.. Nope, that's pretty much it. This will be nerve racking, scary and tons of fun. I have the skydiving experience that would allow me to do this. Hopefully I can make it happen this year.

RESULT - So wha happa?!
Yahuh! This was probably the most fun I've ever had. I visited Eloy, Arizona for 1 week in December 2015. I signed up for the Balloon jump every day, but the weather was only good enough on my second last day. I'm so happy that I lucked out with being able to do this.
This challenge gave me a little more experience with doing a lower altitude jump that is more similar to a BASE jump than a skydive.
Check out the post and video here.
Yahuh! This was probably the most fun I've ever had. I visited Eloy, Arizona for 1 week in December 2015. I signed up for the Balloon jump every day, but the weather was only good enough on my second last day. I'm so happy that I lucked out with being able to do this.
This challenge gave me a little more experience with doing a lower altitude jump that is more similar to a BASE jump than a skydive.
Check out the post and video here.
3) Get published in a major publication
The harsh truth is that my blog post writing just ain’t..uhh, is not publishable. It’s just not good enough! BUT it could be. (yeah I started a sentence with ‘but’!) I think I’m capable of writing well enough for a magazine or online publication (at least once). So how can I become more productive, sit down and make this happen? Well I’m going to face this problem with mitigating my never ending impulse to procrastinate with bullshit, by, setting goals and fueling my desires with some harsh rejection.
PS – Major publication for me would be something that reaches 50K+ people. So not that major.
PS – Major publication for me would be something that reaches 50K+ people. So not that major.

RESULT - So wha happa?!
Well... I didn't submit anything to anyone! I'm such a slacker with writing.. This blog alone is a huge challenge for me to update. I really want to write more and this year (2016) I've decided to commit to writing and submitting 1 piece every month for the 12 months of January. I needed a more specific goal. Failing is not sustainable and hopefully this will prove it!
Well... I didn't submit anything to anyone! I'm such a slacker with writing.. This blog alone is a huge challenge for me to update. I really want to write more and this year (2016) I've decided to commit to writing and submitting 1 piece every month for the 12 months of January. I needed a more specific goal. Failing is not sustainable and hopefully this will prove it!
4) Get 10,000 views on my youtube channel
I just started my YouTube Channel. As of today it has 73 views. Pretty damn sad..haha. My goal of 10k views is silly, ambitious, unrealistic and I’m totally gonna make it happen! (maybe..ha). My channel will house all my videos from the blog. Youtube channels can, a) direct traffic to your website b) generate a hefty subscribers list c) generate income from ads that are played on the channel.

RESULT - So wha happa?!
In less than a year, I published 22 videos and received almost 5000 views. So half of what I was aiming for. I've gotten a lot better at both shooting and editing video on the road, up in mountains and falling out of planes. I've also learned more about what people like and what they don't. Er, more accurately, what people care about what watching.
* A good personal story
* Useful information about popular destinations
* Things with flashy titles:)
In less than a year, I published 22 videos and received almost 5000 views. So half of what I was aiming for. I've gotten a lot better at both shooting and editing video on the road, up in mountains and falling out of planes. I've also learned more about what people like and what they don't. Er, more accurately, what people care about what watching.
* A good personal story
* Useful information about popular destinations
* Things with flashy titles:)
5) Lead Rock Climb a Grade 12 route
What’s 12 mean? Climbing in North America is graded with numbers. It has a long boring history..but what you need to know is that 5.4 is easy, 5.10 is harder and 5.15 is as hard as they come.
There are a number of factors that contribute to the difficulty of a rock climbing route. They include the technical difficulty, strength and stamina required etc. So level of commitment required and also how ‘protected’ the climb is. Protection being a variety of devices to clip yourself into, like nuts, cams, bolts etc that are employed to reduce risk and protect against a fall.
ANYWAY.. I currently climb at a 5.10+/5.11 level. All I’m asking the universe is to allow me to lead climb just 1, 5.12 this year and then again forever and ever. Pretty tall order, but I’m working hard and am totally gonna make it happen this year.
There are a number of factors that contribute to the difficulty of a rock climbing route. They include the technical difficulty, strength and stamina required etc. So level of commitment required and also how ‘protected’ the climb is. Protection being a variety of devices to clip yourself into, like nuts, cams, bolts etc that are employed to reduce risk and protect against a fall.
ANYWAY.. I currently climb at a 5.10+/5.11 level. All I’m asking the universe is to allow me to lead climb just 1, 5.12 this year and then again forever and ever. Pretty tall order, but I’m working hard and am totally gonna make it happen this year.

RESULT - So wha happa?!
In May 2015 I went on a 2 week climbing trip to The Skaha Bluffs in British Columbia with ma rad pal Lindzie O'Reilly. Pretty early in the trip we found a fairly badass 12a climb called 'Goin' Sailin'. I worked on it a few times and then WHAM, I climbed that shit. Yeahhhhhh. (I also unsighted an 11b on this trip)
This challenge pushed me to:
Here is some footage I took from a guy climbing it after me. https://www.instagram.com/p/3UBvwXHSoL/?taken-by=ends.of.the.earth
Check out my full Skaha Bluffs post here
In May 2015 I went on a 2 week climbing trip to The Skaha Bluffs in British Columbia with ma rad pal Lindzie O'Reilly. Pretty early in the trip we found a fairly badass 12a climb called 'Goin' Sailin'. I worked on it a few times and then WHAM, I climbed that shit. Yeahhhhhh. (I also unsighted an 11b on this trip)
This challenge pushed me to:
- Try climbs above my station - which sucks because of all the falling and failing.
- Train harder before my trip - I definitely made climbing more of a priority in everyday life pre Skaha
- Research the climbing area - I researched potential 12 climbs and learned a lot more about Skaha.
Here is some footage I took from a guy climbing it after me. https://www.instagram.com/p/3UBvwXHSoL/?taken-by=ends.of.the.earth
Check out my full Skaha Bluffs post here
6) Learn to Trad Climb and lead a route
Trad = Traditional.
Currently, I only climb a style called ‘Sport Climbing’ where permanent bolts are placed in the rock and follow a route. The climber clips into the bolts as they climb for protection against a fall. Trad climbing is a style of climbing where you place non-permanent equipment in cracks and crevices of the rock as you climb. Trad climbing is difficult and requires more knowledge than sport climbing and I wants ta learns it and does it! Err uh, learn it and do it. The danger with Trad climbing is that perhaps you didn’t place your gear correctly and perhaps it won’t hold if perhaps you fall. It also requires more stamina and strength to place all that gear as you climb. Trad climbing is a requirement if you’d like to climb in more remote areas that do not have bolted climbs. It also opens a whole other world of climbing and who’s crazy enough to not wanna do that??
COMPLETED - April 20th 2015 - Red River Gorge, Kentucky USA
Currently, I only climb a style called ‘Sport Climbing’ where permanent bolts are placed in the rock and follow a route. The climber clips into the bolts as they climb for protection against a fall. Trad climbing is a style of climbing where you place non-permanent equipment in cracks and crevices of the rock as you climb. Trad climbing is difficult and requires more knowledge than sport climbing and I wants ta learns it and does it! Err uh, learn it and do it. The danger with Trad climbing is that perhaps you didn’t place your gear correctly and perhaps it won’t hold if perhaps you fall. It also requires more stamina and strength to place all that gear as you climb. Trad climbing is a requirement if you’d like to climb in more remote areas that do not have bolted climbs. It also opens a whole other world of climbing and who’s crazy enough to not wanna do that??
COMPLETED - April 20th 2015 - Red River Gorge, Kentucky USA

RESULT - So wha happa?!
I went to Kentucky's Red River Gorge in the fall and lead Trad climbed a bunch of routes with my climbing friend Devin Waugh. Definitely more of a challenge and way more to know than sport climbing. Yosemite 2017?
I went to Kentucky's Red River Gorge in the fall and lead Trad climbed a bunch of routes with my climbing friend Devin Waugh. Definitely more of a challenge and way more to know than sport climbing. Yosemite 2017?
7) Cliff Jump from 50′ Inverted
This one’s stupid! Right? You just jump off and booyah granny, all done. Nahh, not really.. It’s way more complicated than that.
I love cliff jumping and always look for places to do it wherever I go travelling. Last summer I jumped from a few cliffs into the crocodile infested water of the Zambezi in Zambia. So damn fun.. Cliff Jumping is actually a pretty serious sport! It’s not just about having the courage to jump.. There are so many factors in doing a successful jump, especially from greater heights. The penalty for playing out of your league can be pretty severe. Water currents, water depths, landing position, free fall skills. It’s important to be good at things that are dangerous so you don’t get all messed up and hurt. If you suck at doing flips and being aware of what your body is doing when your plummeting towards the earth doing a sweet gainer..you’ll probably get really hurt or worse.
Inverted just means that I have to be upside at some point during the jump. Why? It’s way more fun, difficult and adheres to the 6th clause of the top 10 guidelines..badass footage.
I love cliff jumping and always look for places to do it wherever I go travelling. Last summer I jumped from a few cliffs into the crocodile infested water of the Zambezi in Zambia. So damn fun.. Cliff Jumping is actually a pretty serious sport! It’s not just about having the courage to jump.. There are so many factors in doing a successful jump, especially from greater heights. The penalty for playing out of your league can be pretty severe. Water currents, water depths, landing position, free fall skills. It’s important to be good at things that are dangerous so you don’t get all messed up and hurt. If you suck at doing flips and being aware of what your body is doing when your plummeting towards the earth doing a sweet gainer..you’ll probably get really hurt or worse.
Inverted just means that I have to be upside at some point during the jump. Why? It’s way more fun, difficult and adheres to the 6th clause of the top 10 guidelines..badass footage.

RESULT - So wha happa?!
I thought this was the easiest thing on my list!! I thought I would wait until after I climbed Kili, just in case I got injured doing it. Then I sprained my ankle really bad in Tanzania and couldn't do this. By the time my ankle healed healed enough to try, it was winter. Bah, maybe next year..
I thought this was the easiest thing on my list!! I thought I would wait until after I climbed Kili, just in case I got injured doing it. Then I sprained my ankle really bad in Tanzania and couldn't do this. By the time my ankle healed healed enough to try, it was winter. Bah, maybe next year..
8) Learn how to speak Spanish
Ok, so not a super, crazy adventure goal right? It can’t all be fun and games.. This would be so great for travel, meeting new people and just being a better rounded person. PLUS, you can totally tell if locals are talking shit about your tourist self AND THEN, you can be all sauve and retort in the native tongue!!
I’ve been half ass…ly, trying to learn Spanish on and off for a little while now. Terrible strategy.. I’m going to work hard in 2015 and be yelling Happy New Year in Espanol (with the weird swirly thing on the ‘n’ of “Espanol”…uhh, guess I’ll find out what exactly that is). Why Spanish? I live in North America and I can already speak French (bien sur mon chéri!) and English (Hey guuurl). Plus it’s the – super fun fact…wait… – second most popular language in the world with it being an -super fun fact again…wait… – official language in over 20 countries.
COMPLETED - Who can say when exactly?
I’ve been half ass…ly, trying to learn Spanish on and off for a little while now. Terrible strategy.. I’m going to work hard in 2015 and be yelling Happy New Year in Espanol (with the weird swirly thing on the ‘n’ of “Espanol”…uhh, guess I’ll find out what exactly that is). Why Spanish? I live in North America and I can already speak French (bien sur mon chéri!) and English (Hey guuurl). Plus it’s the – super fun fact…wait… – second most popular language in the world with it being an -super fun fact again…wait… – official language in over 20 countries.
COMPLETED - Who can say when exactly?

RESULT - So wha happa?!
This one is tricky to assess because I totally failed at setting a specific goal. "Learn to speak Spanish" Like a few sentences? Survival? Be able to teach Spanish and be a professional translator? Today, I'm confident with being able to communicate at a very basic, survival level. I can get by in a Spanish speaking community. The best part is that I'm loving learning, have a great tutor and am getting better every month. That was the goal.. Getting started is hard, getting better is easier.
This one is tricky to assess because I totally failed at setting a specific goal. "Learn to speak Spanish" Like a few sentences? Survival? Be able to teach Spanish and be a professional translator? Today, I'm confident with being able to communicate at a very basic, survival level. I can get by in a Spanish speaking community. The best part is that I'm loving learning, have a great tutor and am getting better every month. That was the goal.. Getting started is hard, getting better is easier.
9) Get a ‘B License’ in Skydiving
Currently I have an ‘A License’, which allows me to jump on my own, pack my own chute, do 2 ways with other license skydivers etc. This goal is more about learning more, getting more instruction and advancing safety and skill knowledge. …and saying “Oh you only got ya A dude?! I’ve got my B..NO BIG DEAL!!” It's also a more internationally recognized license, so you can show up to a drop zone and get up in the air a little faster.
The holder of a Class B Certificate of Proficiency may participate in:
The holder of a Class B Certificate of Proficiency may participate in:
- Group formation skydiving
- Group night jumps, once briefed and signed off by an SSE.
- A CSPA Coach 1 course
- A CSPA Rigger A course

RESULT - So wha happa?!
YEAHHH. I was away in Africa for most of the skydiving season, so I was way behind when I got back in mid August. On the last load on the last day of the season, I squeezed in my last jump where I had to do a bunch of the requirements. In December I wrote my exam and in the last week of December I was sent my license in the mail.
YEAHHH. I was away in Africa for most of the skydiving season, so I was way behind when I got back in mid August. On the last load on the last day of the season, I squeezed in my last jump where I had to do a bunch of the requirements. In December I wrote my exam and in the last week of December I was sent my license in the mail.
10) Start a successful, fully automated, online business, that generates $10000/year
Damn! All this shit costs money! Hmm..
This may be considered stretching the rules, but technically I started an idea for an online business in December 2014. I’m still combing out the details and getting it going, but I’d say it hasn’t really launched yet. This will allow me to continue shenanigans, dodge jobs and continue my assault on the free world. Hallelujah!
Wish me luck, cause this juggernaut will take more smarts, ambition and luck than I ever had.
COMPLETED - August 2015
This may be considered stretching the rules, but technically I started an idea for an online business in December 2014. I’m still combing out the details and getting it going, but I’d say it hasn’t really launched yet. This will allow me to continue shenanigans, dodge jobs and continue my assault on the free world. Hallelujah!
Wish me luck, cause this juggernaut will take more smarts, ambition and luck than I ever had.
COMPLETED - August 2015

RESULT - So wha happa?!
Insane learning curve!! I found a supplier, built a commerce website, marketed, and sold enough to surpass this goal. Yeahhhh. Holy shit. I'm going to continue this project and start selling in other areas and also offer other items. I'll continue and improve this and hopefully build it into a better muse.
Insane learning curve!! I found a supplier, built a commerce website, marketed, and sold enough to surpass this goal. Yeahhhh. Holy shit. I'm going to continue this project and start selling in other areas and also offer other items. I'll continue and improve this and hopefully build it into a better muse.
Well, that’s my 2015 all wrapped up in a nice little, enormous package of legendary.
Here is a reflection on the process on how it's been living with this lovely, inspiring, mostly heavy, sometimes hellish, epic, slightly sufferous, amazing time delivering, annoying, fulfilling and hovering delight of an albatross necklace called having goals posted publicly.
LET'S.... listen in.
Last year (2015) was the first year I decided to do one of these lists. It's been massively helpful in helping me accomplish things I want to learn; body and mind. Everyday (almost) I wake up, make my bed and journal about the state of the union, between my past, present, future self & how to make things better. It takes many, many little steps to improve. Here's a years worth of painstaking thought mashed into 3 important points about what I learned setting goals, trying to accomplish them, being victorious and failing.
1) What to do
You'd think that a 30 something year old person would know how to set a goal. You have a thing you want to accomplish, so you think it, or say it, or write it down and then you go and do it right? It turns out that setting goals is really complicated and requires a lot of thought and research into what you're trying to do. Let me give you an example. What are most people's big goals they want to accomplish? "I want to travel more and see the world" "I want a better job" "I want to learn how to speak French" . All of these goals are attainable, but they need to be well defined and you need to carve a realistic path with all the steps to get there. You want to travel and see the world? What place do you want to visit the most? What's the best time of year to visit? What's the budget going to be to get there. Do the research. Save the money. Book the time off work and DO IT. So maybe your goal should have been - "Visit my #1 choice destination this year". That will get you started and before long, you'll visit the 2nd place, then the 3rd and eventually, bam, you're a world traveller, seeing the world.
I made a big mistake like this in my 2015 list. Goal #8 - Learn to speak Spanish. Ok... Like 10 words? Fluency? Tourist survival Spanish? Without a well defined goal, I'm not really accomplishing much. I'm not motivated and I'm clumsy in my steps to accomplishing anything. On the other hand, Goal #5 - Lead Rock Climb a 12A graded climb, is very specific. I didn't want to "be a better rock climber", I wanted to do something really specific that challenged me in a lot of ways - Skill, fear, knowledge etc etc. Setting that goal made me become a better rock climber because I had something specific to work towards, that was well understood and demanded a specific skill level.
Think of something you want to do. Lay out all the steps it's going to take to get you there. Pick a difficult, but realistic goal that will get you well on your way. It's a guiding light to get you to that vague ultimate goal that's been rolling around in your mind forever.
2) How to do
Once I make my decisions for my 10, the pressure IS ON. You best be figuring out how the F$%& you're gonna do what you need to do. You're probably not the 1st person to do it, so there's information..and you can access this information to help you. Do the research. Don't be lazy. Don't be dumb.
Every goal is different and there are many paths to success, but one common cell that flows through all the veins on the path to accomplishing anything, is a mentor. Behind every single one of my 2015 10's is someone(s) I looked up to and mined knowledge and advice from. It doesn't have to be someone you know. It just has to be someone that inspires you, that you relate to and that is providing all the information you need. For Spanish I had a tutor, for climbing I had close friends (that happen to be ridiculously good climbers), for the online business, I had Tony Robbins and Elon Musk! For Kilimanjaro, I had Dennis Stolen. (Dennis became a close friend over the year!).
A good mentor is a great starting point. If you choose wisely, be not lazy and be not dumb, the rest will come together.
3) Pressure to do
"They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds"
The difference of who I am today and who I was the second before I posted my 2015 10's is different. Fear of failure is a serious hinderance on trying to accomplish anything. It's easier not to try or for people to think you're not trying that hard, than it would be to face failing at something everyone knew you were trying to do. I found that the pressure and exposure of posting what you're trying to do was hugely beneficial for me. I came to realize that I was constantly failing all the time unless I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing and who I wanted to be at all times. Since those are all blurred lines anyway, what is failure except a negative, shitty feeling that we've made up. Consciously or subconsciously, you won't try your absolute hardest if you want to leave an excuse to why you didn't make it. That sucks! Don't do that! Try really hard, get buried in failures and grow out of them like the powerful lil failing, stumbling, determined and amazing seeds that you really are.
Do things that matter. Failure isn't sustainable.
Love,
Matt
Here is a reflection on the process on how it's been living with this lovely, inspiring, mostly heavy, sometimes hellish, epic, slightly sufferous, amazing time delivering, annoying, fulfilling and hovering delight of an albatross necklace called having goals posted publicly.
LET'S.... listen in.
Last year (2015) was the first year I decided to do one of these lists. It's been massively helpful in helping me accomplish things I want to learn; body and mind. Everyday (almost) I wake up, make my bed and journal about the state of the union, between my past, present, future self & how to make things better. It takes many, many little steps to improve. Here's a years worth of painstaking thought mashed into 3 important points about what I learned setting goals, trying to accomplish them, being victorious and failing.
1) What to do
You'd think that a 30 something year old person would know how to set a goal. You have a thing you want to accomplish, so you think it, or say it, or write it down and then you go and do it right? It turns out that setting goals is really complicated and requires a lot of thought and research into what you're trying to do. Let me give you an example. What are most people's big goals they want to accomplish? "I want to travel more and see the world" "I want a better job" "I want to learn how to speak French" . All of these goals are attainable, but they need to be well defined and you need to carve a realistic path with all the steps to get there. You want to travel and see the world? What place do you want to visit the most? What's the best time of year to visit? What's the budget going to be to get there. Do the research. Save the money. Book the time off work and DO IT. So maybe your goal should have been - "Visit my #1 choice destination this year". That will get you started and before long, you'll visit the 2nd place, then the 3rd and eventually, bam, you're a world traveller, seeing the world.
I made a big mistake like this in my 2015 list. Goal #8 - Learn to speak Spanish. Ok... Like 10 words? Fluency? Tourist survival Spanish? Without a well defined goal, I'm not really accomplishing much. I'm not motivated and I'm clumsy in my steps to accomplishing anything. On the other hand, Goal #5 - Lead Rock Climb a 12A graded climb, is very specific. I didn't want to "be a better rock climber", I wanted to do something really specific that challenged me in a lot of ways - Skill, fear, knowledge etc etc. Setting that goal made me become a better rock climber because I had something specific to work towards, that was well understood and demanded a specific skill level.
Think of something you want to do. Lay out all the steps it's going to take to get you there. Pick a difficult, but realistic goal that will get you well on your way. It's a guiding light to get you to that vague ultimate goal that's been rolling around in your mind forever.
2) How to do
Once I make my decisions for my 10, the pressure IS ON. You best be figuring out how the F$%& you're gonna do what you need to do. You're probably not the 1st person to do it, so there's information..and you can access this information to help you. Do the research. Don't be lazy. Don't be dumb.
Every goal is different and there are many paths to success, but one common cell that flows through all the veins on the path to accomplishing anything, is a mentor. Behind every single one of my 2015 10's is someone(s) I looked up to and mined knowledge and advice from. It doesn't have to be someone you know. It just has to be someone that inspires you, that you relate to and that is providing all the information you need. For Spanish I had a tutor, for climbing I had close friends (that happen to be ridiculously good climbers), for the online business, I had Tony Robbins and Elon Musk! For Kilimanjaro, I had Dennis Stolen. (Dennis became a close friend over the year!).
A good mentor is a great starting point. If you choose wisely, be not lazy and be not dumb, the rest will come together.
3) Pressure to do
"They tried to bury us. They didn't know we were seeds"
The difference of who I am today and who I was the second before I posted my 2015 10's is different. Fear of failure is a serious hinderance on trying to accomplish anything. It's easier not to try or for people to think you're not trying that hard, than it would be to face failing at something everyone knew you were trying to do. I found that the pressure and exposure of posting what you're trying to do was hugely beneficial for me. I came to realize that I was constantly failing all the time unless I was doing exactly what I wanted to be doing and who I wanted to be at all times. Since those are all blurred lines anyway, what is failure except a negative, shitty feeling that we've made up. Consciously or subconsciously, you won't try your absolute hardest if you want to leave an excuse to why you didn't make it. That sucks! Don't do that! Try really hard, get buried in failures and grow out of them like the powerful lil failing, stumbling, determined and amazing seeds that you really are.
Do things that matter. Failure isn't sustainable.
Love,
Matt